Relationship problems and erectile dysfunction
 There are times in all relationships when things don't run smoothly: money, sex and arguments are at the root of most couples' discontent. Often, this is because people have difficulty expressing what is on their minds in ways that their partners can understand.
Relationships change over time. What you want from a relationship in the dating stages might be quite different from what you want after you have been together a number of years. You need to be sure you and your partner make time to discuss your expectations and negotiate the things you want. The most important thing is that you need to do a great deal of careful, respectful listening to what each wants, and a lot of careful, clear communication about what each of you wants.
Seven basic steps to improving your sexual relationship
- Be aware of what you and your partner want for yourselves and what you want from the relationship
- Let one another know what your needs are
- Realize that your partner will not be able to meet all of your needs
- Be willing to negotiate and compromise on the things you want from one another
- Do not demand that a partner change to meet all your expectations. Work to accept the differences that you see between your ideal and the reality
- Try to see things from the other's point of view, so that you and your partner can understand and respect your differences, your points of view and your separate needs
- Where critical differences exist in your expectations, needs, opinions or views, try to negotiate
The problem may be that your communication styles differ from each others’ and it is this that makes you feel bad. To sort this problem out, start looking for the signs of appreciation and enjoyment that come naturally to your partner, rather than expecting them to use the signs that come naturally to you.
Infidelity
Infidelity doesn't have to spell the end for a relationship. Some partners have affairs because they want out of the relationship, but for many people, an affair is a wake-up call. It's a signal that they're not happy, but if the relationship changed they would stay. In some cases, a relationship is strengthened by an affair as both partners have had to face and work through the problems in their relationship.
Infidelity action plan
- News that your partner has had an affair will shock. Don't make any hasty decisions about your future, however much other people pressure you to do so
- Your partner needs to agree to stop seeing his or her lover - if they refuse, walk away
- Once you're over the shock and can talk calmly with your partner, try and talk through the reasons for the infidelity
- Think about the question: what needs to change in your relationship for infidelity never to happen again?
- Sex therapy (couples-relationship counselling) can provide a neutral and supportive environment to talk these difficult issues through
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