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Not Enjoying Sex? Here's What You Can Do

Published : Wednesday September 16, 2015 | Posted in : Sexual Health

Want a sex life hotter than the fire of a thousand suns? Read on!

It's Sexual Health Week at the moment, and the theme of this year's campaign is sexual pleasure and wellbeing, something that we often forget to work on once we're settled into a relationship. So if you and your partner are stuck in a rut, what can you do about it?

Are You Embarrassed?

If you really want to improve your sex life you must overcome any embarrassment and communicate. We Brits can't even eat crisps on the train if someone sits next to us, so asking your partner to do something out of the ordinary in the bedroom may seem impossible.

Try This:

Practice what you want to say out loud (but not on the bus or in the doctor's waiting room). You'd like him to wear WW2-style stripy pyjamas with a cord tie and it HAS to be a cord tie (why are you looking at me)? you can say it quietly, or even get into bed, turn out the lights and say it in the dark. Guaranteed he'll be researching his outfit on the Internet within minutes if it'll get him sex.

Don't laugh at any terms you/they might use. Sexual slang words can be difficult to say, but clinical ones sound cold. It's a minefield out there and there's no right or wrong, so just start talking.

OK, now you're not embarrassed, what next?

First off, if you're suffering from menopause symptoms or erectile dysfunction then there's plenty of treatment for you. Lack of lubrication or stress about losing an erection does not make a good sex life.

Bored? - Talk Dirty

If you are falling asleep then that's the worst sign of boredom (or extreme tiredness). Some researchers whole-heartedly believe that dirty talk is the way to go. Your brain is a huge sexual organ (stop giggling) - turning on your mind is important.

Absolutely No Criticism

Telling someone they are a dirty old man will not improve your sex life. If your partner wants to dress up as Jeremy Corbyn just go with it - play politics for the evening. I suspect Maggie Thatcher was a naughty girl… so roleplay it!

No Pressure

That said, if your wife doesn't want a threesome with your neighbour then let it go. Everyone has to feel comfy. If your husband doesn't want to... ummm... well, I can't think of anything a husband won't want to do in the bedroom, apart from hoover. (Or is that sexist? Sorry lads).

Go Slow

Immersing yourself into a new world of kink can be scary, so start off gently. A few dirty words, naughty magazines, or leaving the lights on are good places to start. If it goes wrong, try again. Practice makes perfect and its fun trying.

Get A Babysitter

Or Vaseline the door handle.

It's Easy on the Internet

People all over the Internet are discussing their sexual problems and fantasies. It seems a shame that frankness can't be taken into the bedroom with someone who has seen you do a wee, rather than an online stranger.

Perhaps if we were more open about sex there wouldn't be so many pornography or cheating websites out there? You may find that open communication in the bedroom improves your life in other areas too. Relationships are all about communication so start talking.

Say it with me now: 'I'd really like to call you 'blank' and put your 'blank' in my 'blank' you filthy 'blank'.

Easy.

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